I’m going to try to avoid politics as much as possible in this space because I don’t follow things closely enough to be more than loosely informed, but I’ve got to address a few things really quick.  I know, you’ve been waiting to hear where I come down on Bristol Palin.  If you want to save yourself the misery, please don’t click through.

This news story popped up when I launched Safari just a moment ago.  Sarah Palin’s daughter to earn between $15-30k per speaking engagement.  What could she possibly have to say?  Honestly, I’d like to know.  She’s got a huge set of balls, I’ll give you that.  If my parents were ultra conservative and we all found out I was pregnant in my teens while my mom was running for Vice President on the GOP ticket, I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever come out of my bedroom closet.  Ever again.  I would have my baby in my closet and live in there with it.  And when my baby daddy got back from his Playgirl modeling gigs we’d make supper in the closet together, pray, then go to sleep.  I would never leave the closet.  The news story says she’s going to address her experiences on the campaign trail and her outlook on life.  She must be an amazing girl.

And secondly can we please stop talking about the Rogue, Sarah Palin, as though she’s a factor?  The media talking about her as though she is one doesn’t make her one.  Even NPR, please stop.  Let’s all step into the time machine and go back to 2007.  She hopped out of the stands in left field and made a bid for the second highest office in the land and failed, and then immediately went AWOL half way through her tour of duty as Governor of Alaska via an insane press conference.  Now we’re in 2010 again.  Put yourself in her shoes.  Uh oh.  How’s your boss feel about that kind of performance?  Sure he’s excited you were in the running but then things kinda went down hill.  Personally I wouldn’t be offended if the press didn’t talk about me as though I had a master plan for passing Go and moving into the Oval Office.  Or the corner office.  Or the drive-thru window.  I would pray to my dearest baby Jesus that no one ever found me in my bedroom closet – Trigg and Track and Tron gathered around me.  Has everyone gone insane?  She’s entitled to her beliefs and maybe she’s even got the right stuff but I just don’t see how you fail and fail and still have people talk earnestly about your chances of gunning for that number 1 spot in 2012, or anything else.  I’m not saying I would have handled the pressures any better because I can barely juggle this 1 ring pony show, but I’d have had the good sense and decency to hide my shame.  Not doing so doesn’t make you a strong person, it makes you a crazy narcissist.

I blame her and I blame the media and stupid people.  And maybe myself.  I feel like I should read her book to find out why leaving office was the right thing to do.  What’s going on with the brain chemistry of these people?  I hate myself even when things are going well.  How can I learn to love myself like this?  Maybe if I can gather up some Amurricans to chant my name and attend my tea parties I could find the strength to go on.

We were in Alaska, by the way, whilst she was quitting.  Here’s Amy at the mansion in Juneau looking for Russia.  We hit all the spots because we simply don’t know any other way to come than correct.