Man, so I’m struggling with and processing the idea that Alex is gone and I’m still around to waste time posting on the web, among all the other silly things I do.  Continuing to do anything that isn’t life altering seems ridiculous.  I’ve had the good and bad fortune of not experiencing a lot of death in my time, so a lot of these classic feelings I’m experiencing for the first time.  Bear with me.

I think I commented yesterday that as hard as it is to find meaning in some of the things we do, continuing to engage in the things that you really enjoy should be a priority.  And one of the things I currently enjoy is sharing via this blog.  So I’m going to keep on keepin on. I’m not going to say Alex would have wanted it this way, because I’m pretty sure he’d rather be around to waste his own time posting on the web.  Equally likely is that he wouldn’t have been chronicling his decline if he had a preference.

I started re-reading his blog starting back in 2007, when he was diagnosed, and it breaks my heart and makes me a little crazy.  We have no idea what’s coming for us.  But there’s no question that Alex did the absolute best he could with what he had, starting all the way back when we were kids.  We’re still kids – this kills me.  My heart goes out to those who were closest to him during these last few years.  It looks like he was well cared for and loved.  I can’t imagine their heartache.