One of my first goals I want to focus on is finding my running joy. I began to realize over the past year that I have lost the joy in running. As Ben would ask, what joy could there be in running? And I say, that yes, it is difficult and sweaty and tiring but there is joy. Joy in moving forward powered only by my own body and seeing the changes in my body and health and just being more in touch with my body in general (the aches, pains, strength). Joy is seeing the world at a slow pace. Joy in being silent and alone. But I lost that somewhere in the past year and training became a drudge. I decided against running a marathon this year because I didn’t have the time to train properly and I have let myself go phyisically. Putting on weight, not stretching enough. So I made an agreement with myself: I won’t run a race if I don’t feel joy in doing so. I won’t train for a race if I am only doing so to not feel guilty or let down. To this end, I ran the annual Harpoon Octoberfest race this past weekend. It’s a 3.6 mile race that is uphill for the first 2 miles. I didn’t wear headphones, just focused on absorbing the other runner’s excitement and on reminding myself why I do this. Not only to drink good beer afterwards (enough motivation for me!) but because I surprised myself with a decent time. ALTHOUGH, I placed number 666 in the standings. No joke.